I Will Not Butter Your Muffin

Exams

It’s a well known tale; it’s been around for as long as these impressive institutions have graced our lands. Graduate from High School, go to a good university, spend first year drunk off your ass before buckling down, actually entering the library and studying for your final years. Then finally graduate and get that pretty little piece of paper declaring you to be an alleged intellectual member of society. Enter the Real World.

The Real World. A common thought, a fantasy even. So attainable yet so far away.

Because exams stand in your way.

Exams. Everyone knows of them. At the end of your paper you sit in a room for three hours, some of you lucky bastards are graced with multiple choice but for the downtrodden; it’s essays, essays, essays all the way. Writing until your fingers threaten to fall off, writer’s cramp crippling your poor hand and overuse frying your poor brain already overtaxed from long and gruelling hours of studying.

Exams are the devil. In bureaucratic paper form.

Or at least, that’s how Sora saw it as he sat beside Riku and Kairi, staring blankly at the stairwell beside their bench outside the lecture hall where he would take the first of these tests of terror. Hearing Demyx singing Sora turned and observed his companions.

Kairi sat going over some notes, cramming in some final pearls of wisdom, Riku was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and head bowed as he dozed lightly, even half asleep he exuded confidence, the cheeky prat. Leon and Cloud stood indifferently to the side, eyeing Yuffie apprehensively as the nerve-ridden girl tore through a bag of pixie sticks. Axel was amusing himself by burning the rubbish within its plastic bin and Roxas was amusing himself by whacking the pyromaniac soundly across the head with his book-bag.

Ariel was now accompanying Demyx in his cheerful song. Aerith and Tifa were chatting casually; Naminé sat beside them drawing quietly. Zexion sat quietly as did Will and Elizabeth. Belle, Aurora and Cinderella were quietly exchanging ideas on the topics they’d studied. Hayner and Seifer were arguing…again. Fuu and Olette were dolefully comparing testosterone to quicksand…struggling makes both worse. Pence was playing on his gameboy, Rai was backing up Seifer, irritating a few nearby people with his constant use of ‘ya know?’…Saix and Meg both gave into the urge and smacked him soundly after the sixteenth ‘ya know’ before retreating to their respective boyfriends.

At a loud noise, Sora looked back at the stairwell. And whimpered. Behind him Kairi packed her notes away, when she looked up she giggled, Riku woke up and groaned softly in exasperation when he found the source of amusement.

Jack –sorry, sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow- grinned as he stumbled up the stairs, waving merrily to Sora as he weaved towards the smaller brunet.

“Zola, maaatey, how’s it? I’m ready to do this, savvy?” Not waiting for a response he grabbed Sora’s arm and tugged him towards the room just as the examiner opened the door and gestured them all in. Still giggling Kairi followed them in while Riku shook his head and muttered under his breath.

As for Sora, he was pret-ty damn sure you could be failed for turning up to your final exam completely smashed. Thankfully, he wouldn’t be failed by association. Wait…could they –would they- do that? They couldn’t…right?

Oh god.

XXX

Leon listened indifferently as the examiner recited the rules. He knew the rules, everyone knew the rules, come to think of it, reciting the rules was rather pointless for non first year papers, but to avoid fidgeting or looking around for the five minute recital Leon chose to listen, no matter how much it bored him.

His eye twitched as a torn piece of a pencil eraser hit the side of his head. Damn Yuffie.

Fixing his eyes determinedly in front of him, he spotted Axel a little to his right four seats below, gazing forlornly at the silent fire alarm, that look of an ardent lover in his kohl-lined eyes, determined to hear the voice of his darling beloved.

Leon felt panic welling up inside of him as his hands grew clammy.

One could only pray that Axel wouldn’t do anything drastic like setting the question paper on fire.

As Axel grinned at the alarm –the ardent lover look lost to that of Axel’s homicidal idiot expression-, Leon knew that prayer could do little in this case and uncharacteristically felt like crying; wishing that he could shout at the red head but…that damned no talking rule.

Directly behind Leon, Cloud was echoing his sentiments, partly because of the resident pyromaniac but mostly because of Yuffie two seats away from him –the girl was bloody vibrating for god’s sake. Why on God’s green earth was there no mention of sugar highs in the exam guidebooks? Drunk, stoned, on your death bed, mummy on her deathbed, granny on hers…Armageddon…nuclear war, even…but no sugar high? Seriously, what the hell was wrong with these people?!

Next year, he was abroad or perhaps extramurally, safe at home, far away from the nutjobs.

XXX

Demyx loathed exams. NO talking. NO music. NO Noise! How did they expect people to work under such torturous conditions? It was cruel! It was barbaric!

….did Larxene devise the rules? Oh god! Demyx felt his eyes widen in realisation. Larxene! Why hadn’t he thought of it earlier? That sadistic woman had to be behind it all!

His eyes narrowed as he refocused on the examiner who was reciting the last of the rules. His long forgotten feud with the evil entity welling up inside of him, intensified by this new revelation that he was in league with Larxene. As the no talking rule was repeated, Demyx pouted at the evil glint in the self-righteous demon’s eyes as the man stared pointedly at the notables in the room.

‘Oh you’re good.’ He thought spitefully. ‘Kudos to you, douche-bag.’

XXX

Sitting at the front –the examiner made him, something about safety of the public- Captain Jack Sparrow stared at the paper before him, the sounds of pages turning echoing through the silent room behind him…

…

…What was he meant to be doing?

His expression cleared suddenly, divine revelation striking him sans the special effects, it was an exam room after all, the lightning and waves breaking loudly over rocks simply wouldn’t be tolerated by fellow albeit sober students. Carefully he picked up the large sheet of paper covered in questions…

And cheerfully he created a telescope and began to scan the room for his nemesis –the Kraken. “We plunder and pillage…” He sang in a low murmur. “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for meeeeeee.”

In front of him, the examiner began to sweat nervously, an irritated twitch attacking his eye as that little paper telescope lingered on him.

XXX

Ariel sighed as she completed her second essay and turned back to the questions paper. As usual, half of the topics she’d studied were present, only just making enough for her to scrape up the required amount of essays…as usual.

Tightening the blue ribbon holding her long red hair in a low ponytail, she silently reviewed her selected question, drafting the basics for her essay and picked up her pen to jot down a few key points before beginning.

As the tip of her pen touched her paper, she stilled, eyes widening as she stared at a seat in front of her where Jack sat swaying, the paper telescope being swung about jubilantly in the air as he sang the infamous pirate song under his alcohol-ridden breath.

As disbelief swept across her pretty features, Ariel felt her mind go blank, knowledge fleeing as the image of Jack’s drunken antics burnt into her mind.

She felt like crying, making a note to get Daddy to transfer her across the country next semester.

XXX

Aerith completed her third essay, the full stop being dotted with flourish. Smiling serenely she started on her final essay, a relieved light in her eyes.

Half through her essay she stopped mid sentence, twitching. After a moment, she smiled again and resumed writing…only to halt and twitch again.

Yuffie, sitting in front of her, was muttering under her breath.

Daring a quick look around, Aerith saw Cloud two seats over, back rigid and jaw clenched, blue eyes icily cold as the blonde slanted a look at the hyper girl. To Aerith's right, Tifa sat twitching, eyes darting to glower at Yuffie before switching back to her answer booklet, her ball point pen held in a crushing grip, the knuckles of her hand white.

Taking a deep breath, Aerith tried to tune the girl out and was almost successful as she bent back over her desk to write.

“Oh noooooo! But the chipmunks –no, no, no! Chipmunks won’t like this answer!”

Aerith let her head fall to her desk with a sharp crack, a blank look on her delicate features.

What. The. Hell?!

-Snap!-

Tifa had snapped her pen, her right eye now twitching dangerously as her hands curled into tight fists under her desk.

Oh dear.

XXX

Leon breathed a sigh of relief. He’d completed most of the exam now and so far there had been no mishaps. With a small smirk he turned to the final question, intent on completing it and leaving early.

“Avast ye landlubbers!” Jack suddenly roared making everyone jump in fright. Jack jumped up from his seat pointing furiously at the clock. “Thar be the Kraken!”

“Nooooo! Save Mr. Chipmunkey!” Yuffie shrieked, sprinting down to the front of the classroom, tackling the examiner and sending the pair of them flying.

Leon looked at them quietly for a moment, blinking rapidly and drowning out the mixed reactions of his classmates –including Hayner’s loud laughter and Seifer’s shouting as he shook a fist at the pair. Silently he pulled his head touching the front of Cloud’s desk behind him, before cracking it soundly against the top of his own desk.

Near the front Demyx looked up from struggling to write the second essay and smiled as the examiner shrieked, flailing wildly as he tried to pry Yuffie off of him, only to succeed and have the girl bounce around him babbling a mile a minute.

Kudos to Yuffie. He thought contently, a dreamy smile curling his mouth. Now able to concentrate fully on his exam, he picked up his pen again.

Very few were able to do the same, the noise was simply too much. Luckily for Zexion, he’d spent years studying with Demyx, or else there may very well have been blood shed that morning. One does not interfere with Zexion’s education and emerged unscathed. Just ask Saix how he got his scar.

XXX

Sora whimpered. He’d managed to answer the questions with what he believed to be decent answers. At least C worthy –after all C’s get degrees.

But now it had all gone to ass-baggery.

Damn Yuffie. Now he couldn’t concentrate. The ninja-wannabe was now bouncing around the room laughing and squealing faster than she had been talking just moments ago. The examiner wasn’t too far behind her, that poor brave yet bloody stupid middle-aged man.

Unable to concentrate on his exam at all, Sora looked down to the front of the lecture hall and gawked.

Soon, with a small group of exceptions, all eyes were wide in disbelief as they fell on the sight of Demyx contently humming as he happily wrote his essays.

XXX

Leon groaned as Yuffie jumped over his desk, whacking his soundly against the front of Cloud’s when he threw himself backwards in attempt to avoid contact with the girl who was waving her arms wildly. Leon didn’t particularly care to lose an eye. Xigbar may be able to pull that look off but Leon doubted he could the same. It was bad enough having a scar. Some little idiot had figured out that he and Seifer had matching scars and started to babble about how together they form an X, like Saix’s scar. Hence forth the trio had been constantly referred to as the Scar Club. Idiotic first years. Oh well, they learnt the hard way not to try Seifer and Saix’s patience. One of them was still in hospital.

“That had to hurt.” Cloud commented, voice low with an odd mixture of dry amusement and sympathy. He leaned over his desk languidly as he spoke.

Leon winced as he realised he’d let his train of though wander. He’d definitely hit his head too hard. “Damn.” He muttered, reaching back to tenderly cradle the back of his throbbing head. “No more than the forehead.” He added with a grumble.

“That was self-inflicted.” Cloud scoffed, reaching forward to lightly prod the black and blue bruise on Leon’s forehead. “You can’t complain about that.”

“No talking!” the examiner tried to snap as he panted and gasped, dashing past the pair in pursuit. He swiped at Yuffie, missing as she suddenly bounced right with a giggle.

“Oh hell…” The soft, uncharacteristic profanity from Cinderella drew the pair’s attention to the pretty young woman before following her line of sight.

Leon paled and whimpered uncharacteristically. “Oh no…”

“We really should demand that two examiners be in the room at all times(1).” Cloud commented with a sigh as he spotted the rising plume of smoke wafting from Axel’s desk. Unfortunately, where’s there’s smoke there is always…well, Axel.

Axel had set his question paper on fire.

“Bad Axel!” Roxas shouted throwing his calculator at the back of Axel’s head and hitting with remarkable accuracy given his position on the other side of the room.

“Fire!” Ariel screamed, scooping her paper and stationary up and running for the door. A good portion of the others weren’t very far behind when the examiner finally noticed the new cause of commotion.

He burst into tears. “Out! We’ll grade you based on your internal assessments! Hand in your papers and just get out!” he pointed a furious finger at the troublesome trio and glowered. “Axel! Jack! Yuffie! My office! Now!”

“Goodbye.” Sora said darting out the door, tugging Riku and Kairi behind him. Leon and Cloud exchanged a look before sprinting after him, leaving the examiner to deal with the fire as his colleagues from the other rooms came running in.

XXX

Sans the troublesome trio as they had come to known as, the group of friends quietly trudged back to their dorms, exhausted from the exam and its…excitements. Demyx stopped in front of them suddenly and beamed at them. Zexion twitched and made a move to silence him with no success.

“That wasn’t so bad now was it?”

Leon and Cloud both tackled him with enraged shrieks, Zexion quickly diving out of the way while the rest dissolved into sobs.

God damn exams.

--End--

Et Voila! My humble fic is complete….now onto the next one.

1. I don’t know how other universities do exams but at the one I attend; one examiner stays in the room while the other stands outside the door, ready to escort people to the bathroom if it’s required. They usually sit with a nice snack and a good book, the little bastards.

Advanced Theory

Chapter Two: A Dreamlike Merry-Go-Round

The room was bright.

The last hour had been one tribulation after misunderstanding after catastrophe after another, but this unnerved Sora the most. The sun had barely fallen past its apex, and its rays lit the room even as they made it uncomfortably warm. In all his life, Sora had never imagined it would be like this. He’d thought about it - he was a growing teenage male, after all, and pure innocence will only last for so long - but he’d never once imagined it would be like this.

Lying sprawled across the bed, warmth dripping down his thighs and onto the comforter lying beneath him, his head pounding, his stomach heaving, Riku’s body hovering above his own-

And the sun lighting the room. It was almost summer, it was an hour past midday, and the sun was lighting the room.

Sora let his head drop to the side, staring with wide eyes at the cream-colored wall. Why did the air feel heavy? It seemed like the moisture in the atmosphere was pressing down upon his body, beading on his skin and rolling down the curves of his body - similar to the way their combined fluids were sliding down his stomach, legs, everywhere-

‘Oh God. What have I done?’

The nausea hit him then, suddenly and violently, and Sora tried to sit up because he was sure that the contents of his stomach - not that I had the chance to eat anything, I wonder what the guys are thinking right now? - were about to force their way out of his body by way of mouth.

“Sora?” Riku began quietly. “You shouldn’t get up. You might be a little sore.”

And - just as abruptly as it had commenced - the nausea quieted, settling in the pit of his abdomen discontentedly. Sora shifted, turning his gaze to meet Riku’s. The older boy was still poised above him, holding his weight on quivering arms and legs. Their faces were close enough so that the white strands of Riku’s hair tickled his face, brushing along his nose. Sora twisted his head, trying to remove himself from the delicate caress. Riku laughed, tossing his hair over his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he asked, lowering himself until his nose was nudging Sora’s neck. “Are you sore?”

Sora tried to take a deep breath, but the air stuck in his throat. He felt…different. Numb. Like something was bubbling below the surface, just waiting to erupt, but the feeling was elusive and he couldn‘t keep a proper hold on it. “I…” he began, wincing when his vocal chords tightened and protested their use. “I don’t know.”

Riku leaned back and smiled, the expression inexplicably softening the sharp planes of his face. He dropped a single kiss to Sora’s lips, too quick to really feel, and rolled to the side and off the bed. “Just wait here,” he murmured, brushing Sora’s damp bangs out of his eyes. “I’ll be right back.”

Sora didn’t turn to stare after him. He didn’t much feel like moving at all - the air was too heavy, too hot and humid and the scent of it made his stomach curl uncomfortably. He took a deep, shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

‘What have I done? Why…why would I…why did I…God above, why?”

And already his thoughts were congealing, slipping against one another in a cruel cacophony. ‘You know why,’ his own voice cruelly mocked, echoing within his head. ‘It felt good, didn’t it? You’re always the friend, always the brother, never the lover. It felt good, having someone’s hands on you, someone’s head between your legs.’

“Stop it,” Sora whispered. “I hate him.”

‘And that makes it even better, doesn‘t it? Sora, innocent little Sora just handed over his virginity to a guy he hated. Tramp. You wanted it so much you were willing to take it from Riku. A guy. Darling little slut. You slept with someone you hated. Now, what does that say about your character?’

Sora lifted his hands to cover his eyes, listening to the blood rushing in his ears, trying desperately to drown out the malicious voice reverberating inside his head.

‘You moaned liked a whore. Twisted and writhed and arched under his hands. I wonder how many synonyms there are for ’dirty slut.’’

“I’m not a slut,” he murmured. “I didn’t know what was happening. It was too fast. I don’t…I’m not…”

‘Slut.’

“I’m not. How was I supposed to say no? If he loves me…”

‘He doesn’t love you. You hate him. He hates you. He did this to hurt you. He fed you lies and you ate them up, whore, whore, filthy whore.’

“I’m not a whore,” Sora whispered.

“Sora?”

Sora’s head snapped to the side. Riku was standing there, a towel wrapped around his waist and another clutched in his hand. He was standing there, eyes wide and hurt and confused. He took a step forward and sat down on the bed, outstretching his hand to smooth the brunet hair back. Sora flinched and Riku paused, drawing his hand back slowly.

“Sora,” he began softly. “What did you just say?”

The younger boy slid his gaze to the side. How was he supposed to answer? This was all wrong, and as soon as he left, as soon as he removed himself from Riku’s presence the panic was going to sink in and he’d start screaming and screaming and never stop.

“Sora,” Riku murmured. “Do…do you really think that? Just…because we…just because we slept together?” When no answer was forthcoming he swung his legs onto the bed and slipped under the sheets, wrapping his arms around the smaller body and pulling the boy closer. Sora moaned deep in his throat, and Riku buried his face in the messy hair, breathing in deeply.

“You’re not,” he whispered. “I love you…I love you so much. And if you…you said that you felt the same…it’s not dirty if we love each other. It’s not. Please tell me you don’t think so.”

Sora squeezed his eyes shut and curled in tighter. God. Every part of his body hurt, and the bed was a mess, and…he didn’t know. He just wanted to leave, to get up and leave and never come back.

“Can you let go?” he whispered, inexplicably proud of himself when his voice didn’t quaver. “I want to sit up.”

Riku automatically rolled away, and Sora clenched his fists, thrusting his hands back to lever himself off the bed. He took a deep breath and clenched his abdomen, placing weight on his arms and -

He bit down on the cry that tried to rip its way through his abused throat but couldn’t help the gasp that escaped. A sharp bolt of pain ripped its way up his spine, his insides tightening and tearing. He flopped back down and closed his eyes, involuntary tears trapping themselves in his lashes.

“Sora?” Riku gasped leaning over the boy worriedly. “Are you okay? Does it hurt that much? I tried to be careful, I tried to go slow, I really did - I didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“I’m fine,” Sora whispered. “I should have expected it. It’s supposed to hurt the first time, right?”

There was silence, and Sora opened his eyes. Riku was staring at him, his eyes impossibly wide in his face and his mouth gaping open. Sora frowned, the feeling of surrealism increasing.

“What?” he muttered. “Don’t stare like that.”

“You were a virgin?” Riku asked, mouthing the words slowly as if he was trying to digest them. And suddenly the terror and horror still swirling in Sora’s chest mounted in a crescendo, morphing into anger.

“What the hell did you think?” Sora hissed, pushing himself off the bed, ignoring the screaming pain ripping through him. “I’m not a whore, I’ve never done this before, who the hell do you think you are?”

Riku smiled then, wrapping his arms around Sora and squeezing tightly. “You gave me your first time,” he said, the comment more of a statement than a question. “I…I don’t know how to thank you. Nobody’s ever…no one’s ever…given me a gift like this. Thank you.”

And Sora quieted, slumping into Riku’s arms even as he made no move to return the embrace. He didn’t know what to feel…there was anger, shock and fear and disgust churning underneath it all…but the feelings were muted, disassociated from himself. It was strange, almost scary, because Sora had never felt this numb. Slowly, oh so slowly, he lifted his arms and placed them on Riku’s shoulders. Not a hug, but…

“I love you.” Riku sighed, pressing soft kisses to Sora’s forehead.

And that was it, wasn’t it? This was Sora’s fault. He’d wanted to play a stupid prank, to knock Riku off his high horse-

“With all my heart,” the older boy continued, pulling back and smiling softly, running his fingers through the messy brunet hair.

-A joke that had turned more malicious than he’d ever imagined. He’d never meant for it to be like this. How…what…if Riku really loved him, then Sora had just become the worst person on Earth. He had dug himself into a hole of his own creation, and he could think of no conceivable way to escape. The truth was crueler than any lie could ever hope to be, and Sora was many things - Stupid, I’m so stupid - but he wasn’t cruel. Not purposefully, never purposefully.

“Come on,” Riku murmured, drawing the lobe of Sora’s ear between his teeth and nibbling at it softly. “I drew a bath. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Sora’s eyes widened and he dropped his hands. “No,” he said, shaking his head fervently. “No. I…I’m not going to bathe with…I can’t…”

“Why not?” Riku asked, managing a smile that was all too hesitant. “We’re both a mess, and we should get cleaned up, and…it’s not like I haven’t seen you. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You’re beautiful.”

Sora closed his eyes. God. Every word Riku spoke was drilling a hole into his brain. He had never known guilt could hurt so much - it felt like there were little demons chewing away at his heart and gut, giggling madly.

“And…” Riku continued, letting his gaze drift to a spot above Sora’s shoulder. “I…I always dreamed of it. Not before I met you- I always thought that shower-play was weird. Too personal. But after you…I used to daydream about it…being with you, taking care of you afterwards. I know that I shouldn’t, I don’t even deserve to ask, but…”

The guilt-demons were one step away from devouring Sora’s lower intestine. There was just nothing he could do…and in that moment he’d never hated anyone more than he hated himself. In the end, all he could do to prevent more pain was to go along with this charade. Sooner or later Riku would tire of him, and then everything would be fine.

“Okay,” he acquiesced quietly.

Sooner or later…it would all be okay again.

Riku’s face broke into a smile that almost hurt Sora to see - he’d never seen happiness so complete, so utterly bright. “Okay,” Riku grinned. “Alright. Let me just…here, hold out your arms. I’ll carry you.”

“Of course not!” Sora yelled, recoiling. “I’m not a girl!”

“But you’re hurt,” Riku smirked, dropping one hand to nestle the small of the brunet’s back. “And you can barely sit, let alone walk. What kind of guy would I be if I let you limp to the bathroom?”

“One that understands masculine pride,” Sora muttered. “Thanks, but I’ll crawl.”

Riku sighed, smiling fondly. “You’re so stubborn,” he murmured, grabbing a brown spike of hair and twining it around one of his fingers. Sora bit back the automatic flinch, lowering his eyes. The guilt-demons were gnawing away at his stomach, now. “I’m happy,” Riku continued. “You’re so strong. At least let me help you. You can lean on me, okay?”

Sora nodded and bit his lip. He eased himself off the bed, dragging the sheets with him and wrapping them around himself as he slowly slid off. The first touch of feet on floor almost undid him - sharp pain shot up the length of his back and he cried out, wobbling and tipping to one side-

-And then Riku was there, grabbing onto his waist and slipping an arm under his arms, hoisting him up onto his tiptoes so that almost no weight was placed on Sora’s feet. “Come on,” he laughed, lifting the younger boy higher. “Let’s go. It’s just a few steps to the bathroom - the joys of a single, huh?”

Sora flushed, lowering his face until his chin touched his chest. “I can walk,” he mumbled. Riku smiled and gripped the younger boy’s waist a bit tighter.

“I know you can,” he smiled. “But it would hurt you, and I don’t ever want to hurt you.” He nudged the door to the restroom open with a foot and helped Sora in.

“Sorry,” Riku said, almost embarrassedly. “I wanted to clean the place up a bit…maybe add some candles or music…but I figured your ‘masculine pride’ might be offended. You’re not a girl,” he added, the corner of his mouth quirking. “I never thought you acted like one. You’re the most masculine guy I know.”

“Now you’re just teasing me,” Sora muttered. Strange…how easy it was to fall into a quasi-comfortable banter with someone he’d hated for years. But there was nothing that could be done - Sora had tried to tease the upperclassman, and in doing so had been handed a heart. In return, however, he’d given his soul up - the truth was cruel, and while it would unquestionably set Sora free…

“I am,” Riku grinned. “But that’s only because I love you. Now, come here. I’ll help you step into the tub.”

And just like that, the feeling of not-quite-comfort evaporated, leaving Sora shivering in a strange bathroom wrapped in nothing but a bed sheet. He shook his head, suddenly more opposed to the idea than he’d thought possible.

Riku smiled almost sadly and extended a hand towards Sora. “If you really don’t want to,” he murmured, “Then that’s okay. I can step out of the room. I’ve waited for two years…never thinking that this much was even possible…if you’re really this uncomfortable, then I’ll leave.”

Guilt-demons nibbling on his esophagus now. He shook his head slowly, never once raising his eyes from the floor, and shifted his weight to his right foot, lifting the left up and over the side of the tub. Riku smiled and tightened his grip on Sora’s hand, helping him over the ledge.

Sora flushed. He was standing knee-high in warm water, the fringes of Riku’s bed sheet kissing the water and dampening. And Riku was just staring.

Riku swallowed, his face uncharacteristically red. “You’ll have to take off the blanket. It’ll get wet. If you don’t feel comfortable with me looking at you…”

Sora shrugged, his blush traveling down his neck. He turned his gaze to the water and unwrapped the bed sheet from around his shoulders, thrusting it towards Riku. Without pausing to gauge the upperclassman’s reaction, he lowered himself into the water.

“Mmm,” he murmured quietly, his head falling back to rest along the edge of the tub. The water was almost uncomfortably hot but it felt so good, and the muscles in his back were relaxing. Almost despite himself, his legs eased open, trying to sink themselves farther into the warm water.

A soft sound from above startled him out of his near-trance and he jerked his head up to stare at Riku. The tall boy’s hands were tightened, his jaw was clenched in a way that was surely painful, and his eyes were traveling the length of the brunet’s body, an almost physical caress that had Sora shivering uncomfortably.

“Can…” Riku wet his lips, raising his eyes to meet Sora’s. “Can I come in, please?”

Guilt. Fear. Guiltguiltguilt seeping through every pore of his body and into the warm water around him, cooling the liquid impossibly. ‘Oh my God,’ he suddenly thought, his insides spasming with the epiphany that had just rocked through him. ‘He owns me. I have his heart in my hands, but he owns me. I could deny him - I really could - and he wouldn’t argue. But it would hurt him. I…was so cruel. How could I have ever thought that playing with someone’s feelings would be funny? I have no right to deny him.’

“Okay,” he whispered. “You can come in.”

Riku smiled and stepped out of the towel wrapped around his waist. The smile morphed into a smirk when Sora’s flush deepened, but his green eyes were as fond as ever. He climbed over the side and slid down into the water. The tub was too small to fit both, and their legs tangled uncomfortably. Neither quite noticed, each a bit too preoccupied with other thoughts to pay much attention to their limbs knocking against each other.

“Sora?” Riku finally murmured. “If you want, you can lean your back against my chest. It would be easier to help you clean off.”

The brunet’s eyes widened for a moment before they narrowed indignantly. “You’re not washing me,” he hissed, grabbing the soap and pulling it to his chest. “I let you walk me here, I won’t let you treat me like a child.”

“You’re not a child,” Riku agreed, but said nothing else. The silence that followed was too empty to be awkward and Sora closed his eyes against it, scrubbing at his skin until it glowed pink. It was quiet, and he didn’t know whether that was a blessing or a curse. His stomach felt as if it was trying to eat itself, though the pain was duller than he’d have ever thought.

“Sora?” Riku suddenly asked, voice warm. The younger boy opened his eyes curiously. There was Riku, leaning over him, eyes hungry and too close. Sora froze. ‘No,’ he moaned internally, the thought black and despairing. ‘No, I can’t do this, not so soon. Everything hurts, my head hurts, my heart can’t take this.’

Soft lips descended on his own, pressing lightly, drawing his bottom lip between white teeth and pulling. The mouth moved horizontally, ghosting kisses along his cheek, earlobe, down his neck, collar, chest and-

“Stop.”

Riku pulled away, staring up at him in confusion. “You…you don’t want me to-?”

Sora closed his eyes and shook his head. Riku frowned. “You don’t have to worry,” he said, biting his lip worriedly. “I know you’re not ready for that yet. You’re still healing. I could just…”

“No,” Sora breathed. Strange. The word seemed so much simpler to say now, and the large weight pressing down on his forehead seemed to alleviate slightly. “Please. If…if I ever ask you to stop, could you please stop?”

Riku’s eyes snapped up to meet his as if shocked. His mouth gaped open suddenly and he floundered in the water. “Of course!” he almost gasped. “Sora…you don’t have to ask, you shouldn’t even think-”

“Will you stop the first time I ask?” Sora said, eyes narrowing. “Before…I asked, and you didn’t…and I let you, but…from now, if I ask you to stop, please. Please just stop.”

Riku’s eyes widened and suddenly everything Sora was feeling - the confusion and fear and horrible, omnipresent guilt - was present on the older boy’s face.

“I…I’m sorry,” he whispered, staring at the brunet in horror. “I…I didn’t think…I didn’t realize, I’m so sor-”

“It’s okay,” Sora sighed, closing his eyes. “It was my fault.” ‘Oh, but you have no idea how much was my fault.’

“No!” Riku cried, grabbing Sora’s face between his hands and leaning forward. “No, it wasn’t your fault! You asked me to stop, and I didn’t realize, I knew you were nervous but I thought I could coax you out of it, I didn’t know you were a virgin, I didn’t think you’d be so scared. You…you told me to stop, and I-”

“Riku.” Sora frowned. “Stop.”

The older boy bit his lip, but said nothing more, and Sora felt a whisper of pride brush against his mind. “Can you help me up?” he asked. “I think we’re clean.”

Riku clambered to his feet and held a hand out for Sora to grasp, pulling the smaller boy to his feet. Sora said nothing, even as the other boy began toweling him dry, wiping the cloth more carefully than Sora could have ever expected from the normally abrasive boy.

“I’ll lend you some of my clothes,” Riku said, his voice once more light and oddly content. “It’ll be a bit big on you, but it’ll do until we find something that fits better.”

“It’s fine,” Sora mumbled, wrapping the proffered towel around his waist. He shrugged off Riku’s hand and walked slowly out of the restroom and to the large bed, Riku hovering over him. “Thank you.”

Riku’s smile widened, transforming his face into something supremely beautiful. “Don’t worry about it,” he said softly. “It makes me happy.” He walked to the small wooden dresser and pulled out a large dress shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. “Here. I didn’t think you’d want my boxers. I’ll step outside if it makes you more comfortable, okay?”

Sora nodded slowly, the little guilt-demons once again stabbing away at him. Riku smiled gently and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him in order to offer the younger boy a small measure of privacy.

Sora sighed and held the clothes in front of him, examining them quietly. They were big, much too large to fit his skinnier frame, but he didn’t have much of a choice. His old clothes had been thrown somewhere under the bed, and he didn’t want to bend down to pick them up; he was already hurting enough, thank you very much.

He slid into the articles of clothing slowly, stretching his cramped muscles as he did so and busying himself with the buttons. As long as he was moving he wouldn’t have to think. He’d think later, when he was at home and all of this was a vague memory.

“I’m dressed,” he called, sitting down on the bed. “You can come in now.”

Riku exited the bathroom immediately, smiling broadly at the small brunet. “It’s a good look on you,” he laughed fondly. “I’ve never seen anyone pull off the whole ‘my clothes are fifteen sizes too big’ thing as well as you do.”

Sora flushed angrily. “Shut up,” he muttered. “Not everyone can be a leviathan like you are.”

Riku smiled fondly and lifted a hand to Sora’s cheek, brushing it once before stepping back. “I like you this way,” he said softly. “Now, go to sleep. If you want to heal quickly you’ll need plenty of sleep.”

Sora thought of arguing, but the thought disappeared almost as soon as it had surfaced. Sleep would be good. He wouldn’t have to think if he was asleep, he wouldn’t feel this horrible. He nodded quietly and kicked the soiled comforter to the floor, curling up under the remaining bed sheet. He would sleep, and maybe when he woke up this would all be a bad dream.

And then the pounding started.

Riku and Sora both jerked their heads to the door. Someone was all but attacking the entrance, swearing and cursing at the top of their lungs. Sora didn’t even need to listen to the voice to recognize who it was. He moaned in anguish and brought his knees up to rest against his chest.

“Riku! Open the door! Where’s Sora?!”

“It’s Roxas,” Sora whispered against the pillow. Riku snorted and ruffled Sora’s messy head of hair, even as he frowned at the door.

“I sort of figured,” he muttered. He tore his gaze away from the entrance and looked down at the brunet, smiling softly. “Just stay in bed,” he sighed, twirling a spike of hair between two fingers. “I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, just go to sleep.”

“Riku, you piece of shit! Open the fucking door!”

The pounding was rougher now, and Riku stood up, walking towards the door. Sora slid further under the comforter. Oh God. If Roxas was here…

A secret part of his heart jumped in elation. If Roxas could help him, if he could just whisk him away, Sora would be safe. He’d never have to look at Riku again, he’d never have to think about him again. Never have to wonder about how Riku would feel. If he would be hurt.

That small, still part in the darkest depths of his heart curled in on itself, and Sora closed his eyes. No. It wasn’t an option. He could never be that malicious, could never leave someone to wallow in misery while he walked away. Injustice….it would be the cruelest injustice, and Sora saw no way he could live with himself if he went through with it.

He could hear the door swinging on its hinges and Riku exiting, closing the door behind him. If he listened closely, he could faintly make out a few different set of voices, but they were masked by his brother’s curses.

“Riku! What the hell did you do? Where’s Sora?”

Sora could almost picture Riku grinding his teeth in irritation. “He’s here, of course,” the upperclassman growled. “Where did you think I would take him?”

“How were we supposed to know?” a feminine, startlingly furious voice demanded. “You drag Sora away and lead him to your dorm. We can’t enter dorms other than our own unless someone lets us in! We had to wait outside for half an hour before some girl took pity and opened the door for us!”

Kairi? Was Kairi here, also? He should have known, she was his closest friend, of course she’d follow.

“Do you know what it was like?” a separate voice yelled. “You all but kidnap one of our best friends and we don’t know what you’re doing, and we can do nothing to stop it because we’re locked out and worried and you spineless son of a bitch-”

“I’m sorry.”

There was silence for a moment and Sora sat up, reeling. An apology? If Riku was actually apologizing…he pushed himself up and eased his legs off the bed. It didn’t hurt that much, really - he could make it to the hallway without Riku’s help.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you worry,” Riku said, his voice growing clearer as Sora made his way to the front door. “I wasn’t thinking properly.”

“You think?” Roxas shouted. “God dammit, you jerk! How did it occur to you that-”

Sora opened the door, and all conversation froze.

“Sora?” Riku began, his brows furrowing worriedly. “You shouldn’t be walking. Don’t worry, it’ll be okay-”

“Sora!” Roxas shouted, rushing over to him and grabbing him by the shoulders. “Are you alright? Is anything wrong? Are you hurt?”

Sora sighed and hid his wince. Everyone was here, the entire group, and their voices were drilling into the pit of his stomach.

“Can we talk inside?” he asked quietly, scuffing his shoe against the tiles. “And not everyone should come,” he added, halting the sudden movement. “Just…just Roxas. And Kairi, too. The room isn’t that big.”

Tidus and Hayner both growled and opened their mouths to protest, but glares in triplicate from Roxas, Riku, and Sora forestalled any dissention. The four students stepped inside the dorm room. The door closed behind him.

Almost immediately both Kairi and Roxas turned to Sora, grabbing him by the arms and questioning him violently.

“What happened?”

“Are you hurt?”

“What did he do?”

“Is everything okay?”

“Fucking bastard, I’ll kill-”

Sora huffed and closed his eyes. “Guys,” he muttered. “Shut up. Please.”

Kairi bit her lip and glanced at Roxas, before speaking slowly. “Sora. What exactly happened when you left us?”

Sora flinched and turned his gaze to the floor. “Nothing really. I…I told him. Riku…he accepted. It’s as simple as-”

“I want to date him.”

All heads turned towards Riku, mouths agape. “What?” Sora asked. He didn’t know what he’d expected. Maybe more days such as this one, Sora finding himself in a strange bed and acquiescing to Riku‘s every wish- but an actual relationship had never occurred to him.

Riku turned to stare sharply at Sora and sat down on the bed, his face serious. “I thought I made that perfectly clear to you. I…I don’t want a one night stand. I want an actual relationship, and if I have to ask your friends for permission in order to keep everyone happy, I’ll do it.”

The last sentence never reached any of his companions. Sora’s eyes widened in horror and he shook his head slowly. Oh God. They knew now. They knew.

“No,” Kairi breathed, a hand raising to rest on her forehead, trying to forestall the pounding. “You didn’t. Riku, you didn’t.”

“Kairi, stop it,” Sora barked, taking a small step forward. “It’s not important, don’t push-”

“You did, didn’t you?” Roxas whispered, directing the statement at Riku. “You fucked him.”

Riku leapt to his feet suddenly, fisting one hand angrily. “I didn’t fuck him,” he shouted. “That’s something you do on the weekends when you’re horny and you want a release. I would never-”

“So, what then?!” Roxas shrieked hysterically, his voice echoing across the cream walls. “You ‘made love’ to him?! You goddamn fucking idiot, Sora does not-”

“Roxas!” Sora shouted desperately. “Stop it!”

“I wont stop it,” the blond roared. “This son of a bitch took advantage of you, mind-fucked you, raped-”

“He didn’t rape me,” Sora interrupted, his voice quiet and trembling. “I let it happen.”

Roxas froze. He blinked once, began to shake his head, and aborted the movement half-way. “W-what?” he breathed. “You…you let him?”

“Yes,” Sora whispered. “Please don’t be mad. But I let him. I wanted to, and…I…” he shook his head to clear it. ‘Please understand, please don’t question it, don’t be mad, forgive me…I’ll explain later, just please…please just forgive me.’

Roxas turned to Riku, his entire body shaking like a leaf. “What…what do you want?” he asked quietly. “I’ve always known that you liked him. I just don’t understand what you want out of this.”

Riku frowned and buried a hand in his hair, tugging at the strands lightly. “Is it that hard to comprehend?” he asked. “You say that you’ve always known; you should know how much I care. I want a relationship.”

Roxas’s eyes turned ice shards. “No,” he said, a striking note of finality in the word. “After all of this - you took my brother to bed within minutes of his confession. How do you expect me to believe that you care, that he isn’t more to you than just a toy?”

“Roxas, shut up,” Sora growled. “Please. You‘re not helping, let me just talk to you and explain-”

“Do you want me on my knees?” Riku suddenly hissed, clenching his fists and pounding them on his thighs. “Because I’ll do it. I’ll get on my knees and beg, if that’s what you’re after. Because I love him, and if that means degrading myself for your permission, then I’ll do it.”

Roxas stepped backwards, one hand clutching at his throat. His face was contorted in something too strong to be shock, not quite powerful enough to be rage. “You what?” he whispered, the question formed as a gasp.

Riku’s eyes narrowed and he dropped his gaze to the tiles. “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” he growled. “I don’t have to justify my feelings to you. I don’t have to proclaim my love for Sora in front of you. The only reason I’m asking is because you’re Sora’s brother, and he loves you. I can see that obviously enough. And it would hurt him to be with me without your permission. I think it’s stupid, but I’ll do it. Is that clear enough?”

Roxas face was oddly blank, and as he turned to stare at Sora the brunet realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that Roxas knew. The blond had always been the more logical of the pair, and somehow he’d assimilated the information - taken in Riku’s confession, absorbed the guilt in Sora’s eyes, seen the way his brother refused to let anyone reveal the truth of the matter - and come to the correct conclusion. Sora couldn’t quite figure out if he should be grateful.

“You love him,” Roxas stated quietly. “You really do.”

“Of course,” Riku murmured. “You can think whatever you want about me, and maybe you’d be right, but don’t for one moment doubt my love for him.”

Roxas stared at the upperclassman for a moment. Behind him Kairi was wringing her hands, her eyes never once leaving Sora.

“Okay,” Roxas finally said, his quiet voice betraying no emotions. “You have my permission. Blessing. Whatever. Come on, Sora. We should go home.”

Riku’s eyebrows drew together angrily. “He’s staying,” the older boy protested, voice struggling for some measure of calm. “He can barely walk, he shouldn’t have to move-”

“That’s out of the question,” Roxas interrupted, his eyes narrowing into slits and teeth baring ferally. “You are not living together. If Sora wants this…if Sora feels that a relationship with you would be nice…then I won’t stop you. But he will not spend the night with you. What he does with his life is his decision, but he will defer to my judgment on this.”

All eyes turned to Sora. The slim boy dropped his eyes to the floor, but his shoulders were steady and straightened.

“I would feel more comfortable at home,” he said evenly. Riku bit his lip and hurt swept across his face fleetingly. Sora winced and almost recanted his words, guilt gnawing away at him bitterly.

‘You’re giving him this much,’ he mentally reassured himself. ‘You’ll be no use to anyone if you break, and if you stay here you will.’

“Alright,” Riku said quietly. “If that’s what you want, Sora. I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Sora nodded and turned around slowly. Roxas had a hand outstretched towards him and he reached for it, clasping tightly. His younger brother stared at him quietly before spinning on his heel, opening the door and leading Sora out, Kairi following closely behind.

Immediately, the rest of their group beset them, talking at once and demanding answers. Sora groaned, clutching his head against the noise. Both Kairi and Roxas shot him worried looks before they turned to glance at each other.

“Guys,” Roxas interrupted. The group instantly quieted, turning to look at him. “I’m taking Sora home. You’ll have to go without your roommate today, Pence. We’ll switch - Hayner’ll keep you company. Sora’s staying with me tonight. Kairi will clarify a bit, okay? Just…just keep quiet for a little while. We’ll see you later.”

It was only after a few minutes had passed - and once the pair had escaped the indignant cries and demands of their friends - that Roxas spoke.

“You…you have a lot to explain, Sora,” he whispered. His voice was trembling, but the hand clutching Sora’s own was steady and serenely comforting. “Talk.”

Sora did.

…Tsuzukeru…

Advanced Theory

Chapter One: A Blossoming Virgin’s Aesthetic

There were very few things on this good green earth that Sora Fujihisa disliked, fewer that he hated, and only one or two that he outright loathed.

Sora hated bumblebees. You couldn’t really fault him, because he was deathly allergic to the little buggers, and broke out in hives, rashes, and warts if he was so much as tapped by said insects. Remember that little blond kid from My Girl? Weak.

He also hated the color pink, much to Kairi’s chagrin. Had since his fifth birthday party when crazy uncle Xemnas decked the halls with boughs of poppies. And not the normal red kind, either. To this day, Sora’s eyes started twitching upon even seeing the color. Seifer, in one of his rare fits of human decency, had taken it upon himself to sneak into the redhead’s house and burn every article of pink clothing she possessed.

The scar on his face? That was all Kairi.

He was also vaguely aware that he hated cruelty to animals, the burning of the rainforest, and the bird flu. Since Sora was only a college sophomore, however, none of these dislikes played a large part in his thought processes, and he continued living life happily enough.

No, when all was said and done, there were very few things in life that Sora Fujihisa hated. Riku Narumi was one of them.

“And so, if one examines ‘in Just-’ it becomes evident that Cummings created the poem as a portrayal of innocence, using a child’s language and the merging of names, which itself implies-”

In the back row of the small classroom, Roxas slumped further into his seat, laying his ruffled blond head onto the desk.

“Damn,” he yawned, stretching his arms forward and flexing his fingers. “Why won’t Riku just shut up? The professor asked for a comment, not a thorough analysis on syntax or symbolism or whatever. There is such a thing as too much information.” Thumping his head lightly on the desk, he turned to look at the slim boy slouched in the seat beside him.

“Oi, Sora?” he asked, lolling his head slightly along the desk. “You okay over there?”

The little brunet sitting next to him moaned, rubbing at his eyes irritably with one fist. “Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m fine. Just wondering what could have been possessing me when I signed up for an honors literature class. I should’ve known that he’d be here.”

Roxas shrugged. “You’re good at English,” he whispered, shooting a furtive glance at the teacher, who had begun speaking again. “You’re just always so distracted-”

“Always been that way,” Sora sighed, leaning his head back onto the wall. “I’d just rather be outside. Look at how pretty it is out there,” he smiled, nodding towards the window. “Much better than this smelly, dingy old-”

“Sora? Is there anything you’d like to share with the room?”

Sora flinched and looked upward. Professor Zexion was standing there calmly, tapping his laser pointer idly on one arm. He sighed and chanced a glance at Roxas, but his blond twin had his nose buried in the textbook, a small smirk pulling his lips upward. Rolling his eyes internally, Sora smiled sheepishly.

“Not really, Professor,” he began slowly. “I was just…err…wondering why the ’m’ in the phrase ‘balloonMan’ was capitalized at the end. It kinda…emphasizes the fact that the balloon man is an adult, which could sorta add an aura of…sexuality to the poem right? Which, I guess, sorta disagrees with what Riku said about the total innocence of the piece.”

Zexion raised a delicate eyebrow but nodded grudgingly, resuming his position at the head of the class. Sora grinned at Roxas and mouthed the word ‘SparkNotes,’ surreptitiously sneaking glances at the professor. The blond smirked back and rolled his eyes, dropping his head back onto the desk.

Sora sighed and again turned his face towards the window. Damn. He’d give anything to be outside right now, playing and running with Roxas and Tidus and the rest. Anywhere but here, in this small, crowded classroom where the air was stale and the heaters were blasting and where Riku was sitting - not ten feet away - just slouching and glaring and staring-

He shuddered and glanced quickly to the side, frowning at the white-haired upperclassmen sprawled in his seat three rows ahead. There had always been something wrong about the cocky junior, something just off, and it grated on Sora’s nerves like nothing else had ever been able to do. Everything about him - from the perfectly coiffed hair, to the proud tilt of his head, to the lean muscles flexing with every movement the older boy made - rubbed Sora the wrong way.

Sora really wasn’t a mean person, and when he’d first come to grips with his intense dislike of the upperclassman, he’d fallen into a veritable depression of ‘Oh no, the road to becoming a psycho mad-axe murderer begins like this!’ There really was no logical reason as to why Sora hated Riku so much - he just did. The sky was blue, a burger was greasy, and Sora hated Riku. It was one of the facts of life, and Sora could no more contest it than he could wake up with a normal head of hair.

Sora thought it was destiny. Roxas insisted it the keyblade wedged up Riku’s ass.

The small brunet sighed and lolled his head backwards. Whatever the reason, it was giving him an ulcer. Everywhere he looked, there was Riku, and this was stranger than one might have thought. They were in college, in one of the largest and most acclaimed undergraduate universities this side of the northern hemisphere. Riku had no right to be as omnipresent as he apparently was. They moved in different circles; Sora had no idea why they continued colliding.

On the one hand, there was Sora - the school’s sweetheart. He was that rare sort who made friends everywhere, and not the fair-weather kind who’d turn tail at the first sound of sirens. Sora was upbeat, kind, with the largest smile and widest eyes anyone had ever seen. Intelligent enough, if a bit of a daydreamer, but he simply wouldn’t be Sora - Hollow Bastion’s little sky-boy - if he was anything but.

And then on the flip side, there was Riku. Cocky, arrogant, brilliant Riku who seduced with a single breath and who never gave anyone a second glance. Because he was simply so much better than everyone else; why should he give anyone the time of day?

Sora groaned internally. Everything about Riku’s very presence offended him on some deep, instinctive level. It was made worse by the fact that Riku seemed omnipresent, and everywhere he looked the upperclassman would be standing there, staring at him with those deep sea-green eyes.

‘Like now,’ he thought, frowning. The older boy had shifted in his seat, his empty gaze focused on Sora. The first few times, Sora had written it off, simply believing that Riku had been dreaming and needed somewhere to rest his eyes. And then it had happened again, and again; lately, the nape of his neck would find itself prickling more often than not.

What irritated Sora the most was that Riku never seemed to be feeling anything when he stared at the little brunet. A glare he could handle, a sneer he could laugh at, but Riku’s face was always kept perfectly blank, and Sora could never read the emotions in the other boy’s eyes.

He furrowed his brow, the corners of his mouth dropping severely and nose crinkling in distaste. God, why wouldn’t Riku just look away? And then the white-haired boy blinked, and just like that the uncomfortable staring contest was brought to an end.

Beside him, Roxas blinked one bleary eye open to look at his twin brother. “Sora. You look angry.”

Sora squeezed his eyes shut. “Not angry.”

A raised eyebrow. “He did it again, didn’t he?”

The brunet nodded, just once. “Yeah. I hate it. I hate him.”

Roxas’s eyes narrowed and he shot a glare at the back of Riku’s head. “I know you do,” he muttered quietly. “It’s Riku I worry about.”

Sora frowned curiously. “What on earth are you-”

“Boys? In case you haven’t noticed, class is over.”

The twins jerked simultaneously upright, staring around wildly. Zexion was standing there, face schooled perfectly blank, but with an almost amused gleam in his eye. “I’m flattered that you both enjoy my class enough to try and extend it for an extra five minutes, but unlike the two of you, I actually have a life.”

Sora grinned and grabbed his book bag, Roxas clambering to his feet beside him. “What life, Zexy?” he asked smarmily. “You’re at our house 24/7.”

“He’s right, you know,” Roxas added quietly, a soft smirk tilting his lips. “You’re life consists of nothing but teaching, eating, and sexing our older brother up.”

“Demyx told us to invite you over tonight, by the way,” Sora continued, beaming. “He’s cooking. And the construction is done. His room is now sound-proof. The pair of you can drop your pants whenever you want, and it won’t bother us any.”

“His bed is still broken, however,” Roxas said thoughtfully. “I thought that only happened in pornos.”

“We carried the coffee table in, though. We figured that was enough horizontal surface for you two.”

“Wouldn’t do for Demyx to get rug burn, now, would it?” Roxas muttered, grinning ferally.

“If the two of you are done discussing my sex life,” Zexion seethed, “I’d appreciate it. I do, as the pair of you so aptly reminded me, have an appointment with your brother and his coffee table. So if you’d be kind enough to leave?”

“No problem, Zexy,” Sora laughed, slinging his bag over one shoulder and making after Roxas, who was already halfway to the door and chuckling quietly to himself. “We’ll see you at dinner.”

Zexion nodded, but his eyes narrowed slightly. “Of course,” he murmured. “But Sora?”

The brunet turned slightly, glancing once at Roxas in apology. He shrugged in question, and the older man continued.

“I was speaking with Professor Vexen a few days ago. He said that you were barely passing Chemistry.”

Sora smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his forehead. He opened his mouth to speak, but Roxas was already interrupting.

“You’re almost failing Chem 31?” he asked angrily. “Why’d you never say anything? I could work with you!”

Both Sora and Zexion raised slim eyebrows. “Dude,” Sora said. “You suck at science.”

“Sora’s right, Roxas,” Zexion agreed. “I know you managed a B in the class last semester, but that was with a bell curve, and there’s no way you’re familiar enough with the material to teach Sora. If you wanted,” he continued, pausing to glance at the brunet, “I could set you up with a tutor.”

Sora frowned, but shrugged noncommittally. “I wouldn’t mind,” he said slowly. “I guess it just depends on who it is.”

“Well,” Zexion said, gathering his papers, “I always thought that Riku was the best-”

“No.”

Zexion ground to a halt, staring at the two young boys who’d just spoken in unison.

“Sora doesn’t really get along with Riku,” Roxas sighed grudgingly. When Zexion raised his eyebrows, the blond continued. “There’s really no reason. Sora just clashes with him.”

Zexion choked. “Sora? Sora’s clashing with somebody? A real, live human being?”

“I’m standing right here,” Sora muttered irritably. “And no, I don’t like him.”

“Alright,” Zexion said, nodding slowly. “Okay. Well, we can find someone else. Have either of you met Axel? He’s pretty good, too. Probably has something to do with the fact that he gets to play with flammable chemicals. I’ll set up a meeting later.”

Sora nodded, switching his book bag from one shoulder to the other. “Right. Just tell me at dinner tonight, and I’ll meet with whoever you want. “

Zexion nodded and waved his two students off. “Okay. You two get out of here. I’ll see you later.”

Roxas and Sora nodded, lifting hands in a wave before they disappeared out the door and down the hall.

Once out of earshot, Roxas sighed. “Damn. We’re already late for lunch.”

“They’ll wait for us.”

“Yeah, but Hayner’ll be mad. He could eat a chocobo, that one.”

Sora snorted. “Well, hurry up then!” he shouted, breaking into a run. “Can’t keep your best friend waiting!”

“Too late for that,” a low voice called. Roxas and Sora both ground to a halt, turning in the direction of the speaker. A tall, slim blond was standing there, smirking slightly with his hands resting on his waist.

“Took you two long enough,” Hayner muttered. “We were getting bored.”

Roxas and Sora shot each other sheepish looks and laughed. “Sorry,” Sora grinned. “Zexy wanted sex advice.”

“Turns out Demyx isn’t quite satisfied-”

“And since the two of us are just so invested in their happiness-”

“Demy-kins being our brother, after all-”

“We figured we’d help the guy out.”

Hayner grimaced and squeezed his eyes shut. “Dude. I have Zexion as a professor next fall. I really don’t wanna know what he does at night.”

Roxas flashed his friend a smirk. “Neither did we. And then they left their door open.”

“If you guys are done,” a tan redhead interrupted, “We’d like to go to lunch. We can talk about the joys of gay sex after I’ve got something in my stomach.”

“Didn’t know you swung that way, Wakka!” a short brunette piped from beside him. “And all these years I thought you liked Lulu.”

Sora smiled softly to himself. This was his life, and he wouldn’t have it any other way - surrounded by the best friends anyone could ever have and happier than he could imagine being. Wakka and Tidus and Selphie, whom he’d known since childhood. Hayner, Pence, and Olette, roommates and hall mates, and the nicest people he’d ever met. Roxas. And Kairi, of course.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” the small redhead murmured softly, sidling up beside him.

“We never thought we’d be here, did we?” he whispered, shooting her a sidelong glance. “Remember when we were kids, playing on our island? We’d dream of escaping, of going somewhere else. We made it, didn’t we?”

Kairi smiled and ruffled his hair. “Yeah. We did.”

They grinned at each other and slung their arms around the other’s shoulders comfortably. “Come on, you lazy bums!” Kairi laughed, pulling Sora along. “Standing around won’t fill up my stomach any quicker!”

“You eat more than the rest of us,” Hayner muttered. “What kind of girl are you?”

“A growing one.”

“With a freakish metabolism.”

“Are we leaving yet?!”

“We’ve been moving for the last two minutes, idiot, in case you haven’t noticed!”

Roxas sighed and shot a grin at Sora. “Yes,” he quipped. “These are the people we willingly choose to hang out with.”

“It was your idea,” Sora beamed. “I had nothing to do with it.”

“Oh, God,” Hayner interrupted out of nowhere, grimacing. “It’s him.”

The group turned towards Hayner questioningly. The tall blond’s face had twisted in an expression of deepest loathing, and he nodded irritably to their right. “Check it out. The bitch from hell.”

Sora followed Hayner’s line of sight, and the muscles in his jaw clenched. Of course. Riku. Everywhere he went, it had to be Riku.

“It’s a freakin’ huge campus,” Tidus grouched. “Why does he always come to our café?”

“It’s not like we’ve got a monopoly on the place,” Selphie sighed, snuggling into his side. “He’s got as much of a right to come here as we do.”

“Don’t have to like it, Selph,” Hayner moaned. “Come on. Let’s just keep walking.”

Sora sighed, dropping his arm from around Kairi’s shoulder. Riku always seem to arrive at the small, backwater café in conjunction with their group, much to Sora’s chagrin. It was just one of those things. He shot Roxas a despairing look, rolling his eyes. The blond answered it with an annoyed one, but shrugged helplessly.

“Wait,” Tidus suddenly cried, holding a hand out to halt his friends. “Kairi? Where are you going?”

The group turned as one towards the little redhead, who had begun walking away, stalking towards the white-haired upperclassman and coming to a halt in front of him, arms akimbo.

“What does she think she’s doing?” Hayner hissed. “We don’t talk to him!”

Sora frowned, his mouth thinning faintly. Hayner was right; none of their group ever talked to Riku. Whether or not they actually disliked him wasn’t the point. Sora hated him, Roxas hated him, Hayner hated him, and out of respect for their feelings the rest of their close-knit group stayed away.

“Oh no,” Olette suddenly moaned, abruptly grabbing onto Pence’s arm. “She can’t be…she couldn’t possibly be-”

“Oi, Riku,” Kairi said, her face uncharacteristically solemn. “Do you have a minute?”

The tall boy’s face tightened, and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m speaking with you right now, aren’t I?” he asked quietly, one eyebrow raising in what could only be interpreted as mockery. Kairi sighed, clasping her hands behind her back and leaning forward slightly.

“I don’t wanna do this,” she muttered, “but I promised. D’you know Myrna? She lives on the third floor of Corel - the very last dorm on the quad? She said she was in your econ class.” When Riku nodded slowly, she continued.

“Yeah. Well, she wants to meet you to talk about the project. Over dinner. Like, a date. She’d have asked you herself, but-”

“No.”

Kairi raised an eyebrow, and her frown deepened. “She’s really nice. And she honestly likes you.”

Riku shrugged and turned away. “It doesn’t matter to me,” he murmured. “I have no feelings for her. It’d be a waste of time. Tell her that we’ll meet at the library, just like we’d agreed.”

The slim red-head’s eyes narrowed. “Sora was right about you,” she called angrily at the upperclassman’s retreating back. “You really are a heartless bastard.”

There was only the slightest pause in Riku’s step before he continued on, disappearing into the mass of students.

Kairi groaned, tossing her head back and running irritated fingers through her short red hair. “God,” she muttered. “You try and do a good deed, and you end up with a fistful of man-bitch on one side and a handful of sobbing woman on the other. Damn. Why did I sign up for this?”

“That’s what I’d like to ask,” Roxas groused, walking up to his friend, the rest of their group following closely behind him. “What did you think would happen?” he asked angrily. “Riku’s never given anyone a second look.”

“Poor girl,” Hayner sighed. “Did she really think that Riku would ever agree to anything that could possibly show a bit of humanity?”

“It’s not her fault,” Olette proclaimed fervently. “Myrna’s a transfer, she just arrived at the beginning of spring semester. She doesn’t know how Riku is, she couldn’t know-”

“She’d be better off with Barret,” Kairi muttered. “He’s obsessed with her, and he doesn’t have a stick up his ass.”

“The ROTC guy? I thought he was with that Shalua girl.”

“No,” Selphie chimed in, scratching her chin thoughtfully. “They were together for a few weeks last semester, but there was nothing there. Come to think of it, I have seen him carrying Myrna’s books for her every now and then-”

“I hate him.”

All heads swiveled towards Sora, staring in surprise. The little brunet was frowning fiercely at the spot where Riku had once stood, his soft face crinkled in uncharacteristic anger. “Riku-fucking-Narumi. I hate him,” he repeated. “Who the hell does he think he is? She just wanted a date, she just wanted to get to know him better; it was the least he could have done!”

“Sora,” Tidus began slowly. “None of us like him, but aren’t you overreacting a bit?”

“No!” Sora shouted angrily. “I’m not! Riku’s never cared about anyone but himself, and he’s never paused to think about how other’s feel. He has girl after girl throwing themselves at him, and he just flings them off without even a proper apology or explanation. He doesn’t have to like them, but he’s always so impolite, always so high and mighty, he never stops to think-”

“Sora!” Roxas bit out sharply. “Calm down!”

“I won’t calm down! Riku’s always thought he’s the best at everything. He never admits he’s wrong, he never says anything to anybody, he never gives anyone the time of day!”

“That’s just Riku,” Olette murmured placatingly. “You can’t change people like that, you just have to go through life ignoring ‘em.”

“Let it go,” Wakka said, shoving Sora’s shoulder lightly. “He’s a bastard, ya? But you don’t have to let him get-.”

“Sora?” Roxas interrupted, eyebrows drawing together. He lifted a hand and placed it on his older brother‘s shoulder, clutching tightly. “Please?”

Sora said nothing for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut and his fists clenched. When he spoke, it wasn’t directed towards his brother.

“Pence?” he asked, turning towards his friend. “Do you have your camera?” When the shorter boy snorted and pulled it out of his book bag, Sora continued.

“Alright, I want you all to follow me. I’m gonna do something. Nothing dangerous, Roxas. I’m just gonna mess with his head a little. And I want you to be there to take a picture, Pence.”

“Sora,” Roxas began warningly, but his brother held up a hand.

“You can’t stop me,” he frowned. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Nothing bad will happen. I just want a picture of Riku’s face when I’m done.”

And then Sora was moving, threading his way through the throng of students walking to their dorms and classes, and his group of friends had to push in order to keep up with him. It took more than five minutes before they spotted a head of white hair through the crowd, and then Sora started running.

“Oi! Narumi!” he shouted, waving a hand through the air. Riku’s head jerked and he came to a halt, adjusting his book bag’s strap over his shoulder and waiting for the small brunet to catch up. Sora drew to a halt in front of him and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Hey,” he began. “I wanted to tell you something.” Riku raised an eyebrow but said nothing, and Sora opened his mouth to continue.

“It’s…it’s just that I…I’d wanted…” and now his nerve was failing him? He’d been chasing after this arrogant son of a bitch for the last five minutes - he was gonna say his piece, dammit!

“If you don’t have anything to say,” Riku interrupted, eyes narrowing, “then don’t bother calling for me.” He turned around and made to continue on his way, and that was all the motivation Sora needed.

“Stop!” he shouted. “What I wanted to say is…” he took a deep breath to steady himself, and spoke.

“I like you, Riku. I really, really like you.”

“Did he just say what I think he said?” Selphie whispered, her eyes unnaturally wide. “He didn’t just-”

“No,” Tidus whispered. “He couldn’t have.”

“Take the picture,” Hayner managed to say through the mouthful of air he was swallowing. “Pence! Look at his face! Take the picture!”

“Oh Sora,” Kairi whispered. “What are you doing?”

A resounding crack filled the air, and all heads turned towards Roxas. The blond was standing there, the pencil he was holding dropping to the floor in four small pieces.

“That idiot,” he ground out through gritted teeth. “That fucking idiot.”

Riku suddenly moved, his hands outstretching towards him, and Sora couldn’t help but take a step back. Oh God. Was the upperclassman that angry? Aww, shit, he should have thought this out further, he should have-

“I’m sorry!” he shouted, shoulders raising in an instinctive effort to shield himself. “I didn’t mean it! Just forget I said anything!”

And then Riku’s hands slid around his shoulders, clutching Sora to his body. “I won’t forget it,” he whispered fervently, burying his nose in the brown hair. “I already heard it.”

Every muscle in Sora’s body froze. “N-narumi?” he asked, voice quavering. “What are you doing?”

“Shh,” Riku said quietly. “Don’t worry. I like you, too.”

“Stop!” she shouted. “Wait! We don’t know what’s happening, we have to wait!”

“Pence!” Hayner shrieked. “Snap the fucking picture!”

Pence snapped the picture.

Riku drew back, and his turquoise eyes were fever-bright in his flushed face. “Come on,” he suddenly said. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Sora’s wrist and began tugging, pulling him down the sidewalk. The motion was just enough for Sora to find his voice again.

“W-wait! What are you doing? Where are we going?”

Riku laughed, but the sound was more of a strangled bark than anything else, as if his own vocal chords had tightened the way Sora’s had. “Home,” he answered. “We’re going home.”

Sora shook his head, but his voice had abandoned him once more. What was going on? Riku was dragging him, pulling him down the walkway, around students, up stairs and past lawns and what the hell, what the bloody flying fuck was going on? He could dimly hear Roxas screaming somewhere, but the noise wouldn’t register.

The last five minutes had blurred inside his head until he couldn’t tell what was real and what was a horrible, cruel nightmare. Something had happened, right? He’d been speaking to Kairi, to Roxas and Hayner and Tidus and the rest, and then he’d wanted to yell at Riku…and he’d found the taller boy, said something…had falsely confessed…but what then? What was going on? Why was Riku dragging him away, he couldn’t have heard the upperclassman properly…

“I like you, too.”

Sora shuddered, shaking his head violently. No. That was wrong. It was a lie. He felt like throwing up and squeezed his eyes shut against the nausea. This was all wrong.

Riku finally came to a halt, pulling Sora up a set of steps. “This is it,” he said, voice shaking. “My dorm, I mean.”

Sora nodded, still dazed. This had to be some kind of dream, some horrible nightmare. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t be happening, any minute now Roxas would be shaking him awake, and Zexion would be standing over him, frowning in irritation and telling him never to fall asleep in class again.

Riku drew a wallet shakily out of his pocket and pulled out a keycard, inserting it into the slot along the side of the wall. Sora dimly noticed that it took him a few tries